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Siegfried Kiselev
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They're Not Your Husband: A Short Story by Raymond Carver - PDF Download


# Raymond Carver's They're Not Your Husband: A Short Story Analysis - Introduction - Brief summary of the story and its main themes - Thesis statement: The story explores the issues of insecurity, control, and identity in a failing marriage and a bleak society. - Body - Paragraph 1: Earl's insecurity and dissatisfaction with his life - How Earl is unemployed, alcoholic, and unhappy with his wife's appearance and job - How Earl projects his own feelings of inadequacy onto Doreen and tries to change her - How Earl is influenced by the opinions of others, especially the two men who mock Doreen - Paragraph 2: Doreen's loss of control and identity in her marriage - How Doreen is trapped in a low-paying, demeaning job that she needs to support her family - How Doreen is subjected to Earl's demands and criticisms that erode her self-esteem and autonomy - How Doreen is isolated from her friends and family and has no outlet for her emotions - Paragraph 3: The contrast between Earl and Doreen's perspectives and reactions - How Earl is oblivious to Doreen's feelings and needs and only cares about his own image - How Doreen is aware of Earl's problems and tries to please him despite his mistreatment - How Earl fails to communicate with Doreen and resorts to manipulation and coercion - How Doreen resists Earl's control and asserts her identity at the end of the story - Conclusion - Restate the thesis statement and summarize the main points - Explain the significance and implications of the story for the readers - Provide some suggestions or questions for further discussion or reflection Here is the article I wrote based on the outline: # Raymond Carver's They're Not Your Husband: A Short Story Analysis Raymond Carver was one of the most influential American short story writers of the 20th century. His stories are known for their minimalism, realism, and focus on ordinary people facing difficult situations. One of his stories, They're Not Your Husband, was first published in 1973 in the Chicago Review and later included in his first major collection, Will You Please Be Quiet, Please?. The story tells the story of Earl Ober, an unemployed salesman who becomes obsessed with his wife's weight after overhearing two men making fun of her at the coffee shop where she works as a waitress. He forces her to go on a strict diet and exercise regime, while neglecting her feelings and needs. The story explores the issues of insecurity, control, and identity in a failing marriage and a bleak society. ## Earl's insecurity and dissatisfaction with his life Earl Ober is a man who is unhappy with his life. He is between jobs as a salesman, which implies that he has no stable income or career prospects. He spends his nights drinking, which suggests that he has an alcohol problem and no meaningful hobbies or interests. He is also unhappy with his wife's appearance and job. He thinks that she is too fat and that her job as a waitress at a 24-hour coffee shop is beneath her. He wants her to look more attractive and respectable, not for her sake, but for his own. Earl's dissatisfaction with his wife stems from his own feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. He projects his own flaws onto her and tries to change her to fit his ideal image. He does not appreciate her for who she is or what she does for him and their family. He also does not respect her as an equal partner or a person with her own desires and opinions. He treats her as an object that he can mold and manipulate according to his whims. Earl's insecurity is also influenced by the opinions of others, especially the two men who mock Doreen at the coffee shop. He cares more about what strangers think of him than what his wife thinks of him. He feels humiliated by their comments and takes them personally. He thinks that they are judging him for having a fat wife who works at a low-class place. He does not defend his wife or confront the men, but instead internalizes their criticism and lets it affect his relationship with her. He becomes obsessed with making her lose weight and look more presentable, as if that would somehow improve his own status and self-esteem. ## Doreen's loss of control and identity in her marriage Doreen Ober is a woman who is trapped in a miserable marriage and a harsh society. She works as a waitress at a 24-hour coffee shop, which is a low-paying, demeaning, and exhausting job. She has to deal with rude customers, long hours, and poor working conditions. She works at night, which means that she has to sacrifice her sleep and her social life. She has no friends or family to support her or to talk to. She also has to take care of her two children, who are often left alone at home. She has no time or energy for herself or for her hobbies. Doreen is also subjected to Earl's demands and criticisms that erode her self-esteem and autonomy. He tells her what to eat, what to wear, how to exercise, and how to behave. He monitors her weight and appearance constantly and makes her feel guilty and ashamed of herself. He does not care about her health or happiness, but only about his own satisfaction. He does not listen to her or value her input. He makes her feel like she is not good enough for him or for anyone else. Doreen is isolated from the world and from herself. She has no control over her life or her identity. She is defined by her roles as a wife, a mother, and a waitress, but none of these roles give her any fulfillment or joy. She is stuck in a cycle of work, home, and diet, with no escape or hope for change. ## The contrast between Earl and Doreen's perspectives and reactions One of the most striking aspects of the story is the contrast between Earl and Doreen's perspectives and reactions. The story is told from Earl's point of view, which gives us an insight into his thoughts and feelings, but also limits our understanding of Doreen's side of the story. We only see what Earl sees and hears, but we do not know what Doreen thinks or feels. We have to infer from her actions and words, which are often ambiguous or contradictory. Earl is oblivious to Doreen's feelings and needs and only cares about his own image. He does not notice or appreciate the sacrifices she makes for him and their family. He does not realize or acknowledge the harm he is doing to her physically and emotionally. He does not understand or respect her as a person with her own personality and preferences. He assumes that she shares his goals and values, but he never asks her or listens to her. He thinks that he knows what is best for her and that he is helping her by making her lose weight. Doreen is aware of Earl's problems and tries to please him despite his mistreatment. She knows that he is unhappy with his life and that he drinks too much. She knows that he is insecure about himself and that he cares about what others think of him. She knows that he is controlling and demanding and that he does not love her for who she is. She tries to accommodate his wishes and follow his rules, even though they make her unhappy and unhealthy. She tries to be a good wife, a good mother, and a good worker, even though she gets no recognition or reward for it. Earl fails to communicate with Doreen and resorts to manipulation and coercion. He does not talk to her about his feelings or concerns, but instead expresses them through his actions. He does not ask her what she wants or needs, but instead tells her what to do. He does not persuade her with reason or affection, but instead pressures her with guilt and threats. He does not support her or encourage her, but instead criticizes her and punishes her. Doreen resists Earl's control and asserts her identity at the end of the story. She does not accept his authority or judgment over her life or body. She does not let him dictate how she should look or feel. She does not let him take away her dignity or happiness. She stands up for herself and tells him off. She shows him that she is not his property or his puppet, but his wife and a human being. ## Conclusion less to Doreen's feelings and needs and only cares about his own image. He does not notice or appreciate the sacrifices she makes for him and their family. He does not realize or acknowledge the harm he is doing to her physically and emotionally. He does not understand or respect her as a person with her own personality and preferences. He assumes that she shares his goals and values, but he never asks her or listens to her. He thinks that he knows what is best for her and that he is helping her by making her lose weight. Doreen is aware of Earl's problems and tries to please him despite his mistreatment. She knows that he is unhappy with his life and that he drinks too much. She knows that he is insecure about himself and that he cares about what others think of him. She knows that he is controlling and demanding and that he does not love her for who she is. She tries to accommodate his wishes and follow his rules, even though they make her unhappy and unhealthy. She tries to be a good wife, a good mother, and a good worker, even though she gets no recognition or reward for it. Earl fails to communicate with Doreen and resorts to manipulation and coercion. He does not talk to her about his feelings or concerns, but instead expresses them through his actions. He does not ask her what she wants or needs, but instead tells her what to do. He does not persuade her with reason or affection, but instead pressures her with guilt and threats. He does not support her or encourage her, but instead criticizes her and punishes her. Doreen resists Earl's control and asserts her identity at the end of the story. She does not accept his authority or judgment over her life or body. She does not let him dictate how she should look or feel. She does not let him take away her dignity or happiness. She stands up for herself and tells him off. She shows him that she is not his property or his puppet, but his wife and a human being. ## Conclusion Raymond Carver's They're Not Your Husband is a powerful short story that exposes the problems of insecurity, control, and identity in a failing marriage and a bleak society. The story portrays the contrast between Earl and Doreen's perspectives and reactions, showing how Earl tries to change Doreen to fit his ideal image, while Doreen tries to please Earl despite his abuse. The story also shows how Doreen eventually rebels against Earl's control and asserts her identity, while Earl remains clueless and frustrated. The story reveals the psychological and emotional effects of a dysfunctional relationship and a hopeless environment on the characters and the readers. The story is relevant for today's readers, who may face similar issues of insecurity, control, and identity in their own lives or relationships. The story invites the readers to reflect on their own values, expectations, and communication styles, and how they affect themselves and others. The story also challenges the readers to question the social norms and pressures that shape their self-image and self-worth, and how they can resist them or overcome them. Some questions for further discussion or reflection are: - How do you think Earl and Doreen's relationship started? What attracted them to each other? How did their relationship change over time? - How do you think Earl and Doreen's children are affected by their parents' relationship? How do they cope with their situation? How do they view their parents? - How do you think Earl and Doreen's relationship would have been different if they had more education, income, or opportunities? Do you think their problems are caused by their social class or by their personalities? - How do you think Earl could have handled the situation differently? What could he have done to improve his relationship with Doreen? What could he have done to improve his own life? - How do you think Doreen could have handled the situation differently? What could she have done to protect herself from Earl's abuse? What could she have done to pursue her own happiness? - How do you relate to Earl or Doreen? Have you ever felt insecure, controlled, or lost your identity in a relationship or a situation? How did you deal with it? What did you learn from it? ## FAQs - Q: Who is Raymond Carver? - A: Raymond Carver was an American short story writer and poet who was born in 1938 and died in 1988. He is considered one of the most influential writers of the 20th century and a pioneer of the minimalist and dirty realist styles. He wrote about the lives and struggles of ordinary people, especially the working poor, in a simple and realistic way. - Q: What is the main theme of They're Not Your Husband? - A: The main theme of They're Not Your Husband is insecurity, control, and identity. The story shows how Earl, an unemployed salesman, becomes obsessed with his wife's weight after overhearing two men making fun of her at the coffee shop where she works as a waitress. He tries to control her and change her to fit his ideal image, while ignoring her feelings and needs. He also loses his own identity and self-esteem in the process. The story explores the psychological and emotional effects of a dysfunctional relationship and a hopeless environment on the characters and the readers. - Q: When and where was They're Not Your Husband published? - A: They're Not Your Husband was first published in 1973 in the Chicago Review, a literary magazine. It was later included in Carver's first major collection, Will You Please Be Quiet, Please?, in 1976. The story has been widely anthologized and studied since then. - Q: How long is They're Not Your Husband? - A: They're Not Your Husband is a short story that is about 10 pages long. It has four sections, each corresponding to a different night when Earl visits Doreen at the coffee shop. The story is told from Earl's point of view, which limits our understanding of Doreen's side of the story. - Q: What is the tone and style of They're Not Your Husband? - A: The tone and style of They're Not Your Husband are minimalist and realistic. Carver uses simple and clear language, with few adjectives or metaphors. He focuses on the actions and dialogues of the characters, rather than their thoughts or feelings. He leaves many details and meanings unsaid or implied, creating gaps and ambiguities for the readers to fill in or interpret. He also creates a bleak and depressing atmosphere, with no humor or hope.




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